joyrides

after waiting patiently another week for my contacts to be (re-?)delivered, I called the post office today. I sort-of, almost calmly explained what had happened, and that fedex told me to contact them. I then embarked on a mobius strip of conversation, in which I kept explaining that they had to have my package, and she kept saying that unless I had a peach delivery notice card, she couldn’t help me.

“Do you have a peach delivery notice?”
“No, I have no delivery notice. FedEx’s tracking number says that there was a delivery exception because I wasn’t home to receive it, and that I should contact my local post office.”
“Well, we scan the FedEx packages on large pallets, and their information is probably coming from that. Until we scan it, we can’t deliver it.”
“It’s been a week and a half since the first delivery, which was 2 days after their system says it was delivered to the post office. Which means you scanned it then, right?”
“Probably. But we don’t keep parcels here, and can’t look them up without the delivery notice.”
“You don’t keep parcels there?”
“If it was a certified letter, we would have a record and you would receive a different notice. But because it’s a parcel, we can’t look it up without the peach delivery notice. You should try to contact FedEx to find out what their status means.”
“I did. They said it means to contact YOU, because YOU attempted a delivery.”
“Did you get a peach delivery notice?”
“No.”
“Then I can’t help you. You will have to wait until you have a peach delivery notice.”

AAAAAAARGGH! I tried a different tack.

“So, hypothetically, if you had a perishable parcel sitting around your warehouse for a week and a half, what would you do with it?”
“Oh, we don’t keep perishables here. Is it perishable?”
“No, it’s contact lenses, I don’t know if it’s perishable, but they have an expiration date, and I do know that I need them. It’s been a week and a half since delivery was even attempted.”
“Did you get a peach delivery notice?”
“No, I did not get a peach delivery notice. There is absolutely no way to look this up without a peach delivery notice?”
“No.”
“That is…” Stupid. Crazy. Inefficient. Unconscionable. Awful. Bureaucratic nonsense. Fucking retarded. “…unfortunate.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. You may want to contact FedEx.”
Sigh. I give up. “Thanks for your help.”
“You’re welcome.”

So, I can’t get my package from USPS because I didn’t get a delivery notice. But since FedEx has handed it off to USPS, they won’t help. USPS won’t help because I don’t have a 3×5 goddamn peach paper delivery notice. I am beginning to suspect that I didn’t get a delivery notice because the FedEx status is most likely bullshit and no one tried to deliver it in the first place. And my current lenses are now 3 weeks old and practically dissolving in my hand each morning, with no hope of being replaced in the immediate future.

Next step…call Lens.com, see if they will reship (UPS! Please!), or I can at least get my money back. Grr.

(I promise my next post will be at least a little more positive.)

well, that title’s not really fair. Mail key fiasco aside, I haven’t had any major problems with them…they only get the mail-forwarding wrong MOST of the time, and they deliver things just about when I expect them. Well, until now.

A couple weeks ago, I ordered my contacts from lens.com. This is the 2nd time I’ve ordered from them, and the first time went off perfectly–ordered, selected 2-day shipping (because I was on my last pair), and they arrived right on time. Score!

Not this time.

Since I still had a fresh set of contacts left when I ordered, I didn’t feel the same urgency on the shipping, so I set it up to go standard. Which, for lens.com, means FedEx SmartPost. If they had listed this on the order page, I would have chosen something else, because OMG do I haaaaate FedEx SmartPost. It combines two of the most incompetent services in my experience–FedEx delivery and the USPS–in one tidy little bundle of clusterfuckery, and I would rather have my stuff delivered by the Pony Express than by this inefficient, slow, horrible method.

So anyway, this time was no exception. After a week had passed after the shipping notification, I decided to look up the tracking number…only to find that they had “tried” to deliver it at 3:00 pm on Christmas Eve, but I apparently was not home. Why I needed to be home for them to deliver a 2×3x5 package to my locked community mailbox, I have no idea, but also? I WAS HOME ALL DAY. They also did not leave any kind of indication that delivery was even attempted, which is the whole reason I was looking up the tracking number in the first place. Grr.

But, no matter, the status also said that I could arrange with my post office for redelivery. In hindsight, I should have gone ahead and tried to do this immediately, but my misplaced faith in the USPS told me to wait for them to try to redeliver on their own. Because surely, if you’re going to put a delivery exception on a package but not leave a door tag OR a pickup card, you intend to redeliver on your own, right?

Apparently not.

I gave them 3 days, during which I dutifully checked my mail and cleared out the dozen or so advertising flyers I get on a daily basis. No contacts. By now, my last pair of 2-week contacts are going on their 3rd week, and are feeling a little itchy. So, I tried to call my post office to work out a pickup or delivery. Busy signal. Seriously?? So I called 1-800-ASK-USPS. Twice. Neither time, would it connect in any meaningful way. So I called FedEx…who told me to call USPS.

After a bout of frustrated deep-breathing, I tried my local post office number again. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. SERIOUSLY. Did they take the phone off the hook? Who does that? I called ASK-USPS again, who confirmed the number I was calling was the location I needed, which was reassuring but useless, since they weren’t answering their DAMN PHONE.

So, now I have to go down there. They may or may not be open. They may or may not be able to find my package without a pickup card or any kind of reference number, because they failed to give me one when they (allegedly) declined to deliver my package that was small enough to fit in my mailbox AND did not require a signature. They may or may not see me dissolve into hopeless, rage-filled tears.

(Also–and this is a strong possibility–I may be hormonal and over-reacting just a bit.)

ok, so here we go.

I just finished a book today that’s made me introspective and kind of melancholy (may have gotten an assist from the weather on that one), so this might be a little bit rambling and contain quite a bit of navel-gazing for your trouble. The ideas are not new, nothing that hasn’t been explored better by others. There are also some updates on what’s going on with me, buried though it is in all the emo mess. Continue at your peril, is what I’m saying. You have been warned.

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I am in one. I am tired, and overwhelmed, and worried, and…and…and. I feel like the whole world is out to get me, and I desperately need a nap. /whine.

In no particular order…

• Rain!
• Suffered through the Mood that Ate the World on Tuesday
• Rode so crappily during said MTATW that I threw a tantrum and hurled my Cateye bike computer (the one referenced in the last post) into the woods. In my defense, it was reading at about half-speed, and this was not the first time it had malfunctioned. It should’ve known better than to mess with me when I was in a Mood.
• Realized that off days are just as important as training hours. Every time I’ve wanted to throw my bike down a ravine (or, um, my computer into the woods), it’s been after at least 5 consecutive riding days. My legs may be able to ride every day, but my soul/heart/motivation takes a hit if I don’t take a day off at least once a week.
• Recovered my long-lost Garmin Edge, which I thought I had left in a hotel room in Iowa, but was actually in a pile of stuff somewhere at Rob’s house (His roommate found it).
• Sold my Casseroll. I can’t tell yet whether I will miss it. I can tell you that I do not miss worrying about how I’m going to pay for a raceand a vacation this month, plus manage to get Noah what he needs for school.
• Decided not to do the Hotter ‘n Hell race. It’s a long drive, and the car I’m driving right now gets 14-18 mpg.  I’ll probably be driving a different one by the end of the month, but still. It would cost at least $300 to go, even if I drove a Prius. That’s a lot of money to spend on a race I’ve had trouble getting too excited about in the first place.
• Realized that the 17th was the the 25th anniversary of my mom’s passing. And that yesterday would have been her 60th birthday. I didn’t really think about it this year, but maybe my recent gloom has something to do with that.
• Gotten mired in more drama than I need in two lifetimes. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating–cyclists can be a bunch of bitchy little girls. (Myself included.)

UPDATE: Got a late start(7:20ish), but still managed to finish the 70-miler and be on the road home by 11:30 (course was slightly short, speed avg 19.4). Got a major assist from our friends on the tandem, who dragged us around much of the course in their sweet, sweet draft.

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I don’t do many charity rides anymore, but this year I decided (kind of on a whim) that I want to give the Katy Flatland Century another go. Three years ago, I had picked this to be my first 100-mile ride. It didn’t quite work out that way, and I haven’t ridden the thing since. However, I am still on their mailing list, so I’ve been getting little announcements for about 2 months about the ride. Then we were talking about it at the club meeting, and then again on Thursday in Conroe, and before I knew it–hey, let’s do the KFC!

Except that I’m not doing the WHOLE KFC, since I have to be back in The Woodlands by 1:00 for a club thing. We’ll only be doing the 70-mile route, and I’m hoping to be done by 11:00 and back home by noon-12:30.  Which means that we’re planning to do this at a pretty good clip–probably right around 22 mph rolling speed, with two quick stops. Could be more in places, could be less, but the objective is to be packed and gone by 11:30 at the absolute latest. Barring mechanical failure or excessive whining, this is not a ridiculous goal. (Unlike, for instance, my goal to place 5th or better in  a crit at 4:30 on a July afternoon on a course with an uphill finish.)

First things first: I very much didn’t make the top 5. I did, however, end up hitting all three of my “as long as I don’t”’s, so I guess having all my excuses lined out in advance helped in that regard.

Can you tell I’m a little disappointed with myself right now?

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